The Aftermath – Part 4

Parts 1, 2, 3, 5

The interesting thing was he never called asking for anything from me or maybe he did and I just don’t recall it. There are a lot of things I just don’t want to remember. I think he knew by then I wouldn’t give him anything that he had already drained my well dry. He ended up back in his parent’s house and about eight months later being arrested for doing what no father should ever do with his fourteen your old daughter. He got sentenced to a state maximum security penitentiary. With what I had heard about the code of honor of criminals when it comes to children I half expected to hear something dreadful had happened to him however I guess his silver tongue is keeping him out of trouble and he has everyone believing whatever story he has concocted.

As soon as I heard of his conviction, I found an attorney and filed for sole custody of my daughter. It was granted without his contesting it, in fact he wrote a letter to the judge stating he was agreeable to all the terms except the support money due to being in prison and he would not be earning any money for which to pay it. My attorney had been the one to request the support. I had told her it would be a waste of effort, and true to his calling that is exactly what it was.

Within the first year of living in British Columbia however, I discovered the anxiety and panic I felt in Montreal wasn’t subsiding like I thought it would. In fact, now that I didn’t have all the stress I had in Montreal, the anxiety and panic attacks were more noticeable and scarier. They appeared to come out of the blue. I woke one morning to vertigo, which brought on a panic attack worse than any others, I felt my hands and feet go numb and started to fear I might have a heart attack. I used breathing to try and calm my anxiety but it took a while. The vertigo finally stopped but for that day and a few afterwards it hovered in the peripheral wings. I saw a doctor but all he did was give me a paper that gave instructions for some exercises I could do. Luckily though the vertigo appears to have been a onetime thing.

The anxiety and panic however remained, rearing their ugly head without warning. I started looking up my symptoms and finally came to the conclusion that they might be symptoms of peri-menopause. I had heard enough horror stories regarding pharmaceutical hormone replacement that I decided to see a naturopath to see what could be done naturally. The one I found is an hour away by car, but I wouldn’t change her for the world. We did testing for the proof she needed in her diagnosis and she started me immediately on a bio-identical progesterone replacement. Over the next few months, she allowed me the freedom to adjust my dosage if I felt anxiety or panic attacks. Within about six months I no longer suffered them on a frequent basis, in fact I usually only felt them start to come on whenever I would find myself in stressful situations which were usually work related. That is just the nature of my work.

Then at work I got a new boss, someone I had known as a technician and within a couple months realized this man was the worst boss I had ever had. He was a micro-manager and was borderline abusive in how he treated us. I had several instances occur that had me on the edge of just walking off the job. Our boss’s boss had brought in someone to work with us as a go-between of sorts and I had several discussions with him about how I could not work under these conditions any more. He continued to convince me to stay.

In the midst of my own difficulties with my boss, my mother was diagnosed with cancer and within half a year passed away. After taking the days allowed off, I returned to work, and on my first day back found myself being unfairly treated and being accused of not doing my job. I had enough and wrote an email to my boss’s boss, explaining to her I could no longer work under these conditions after having just returned from time off after my mother passed away to be confronted like this on my first day back. I didn’t hear from her but that same day I received a plant delivery expressing sympathies for my loss.

I did however end up speaking to the man who was the go-between and he reassured me that changes were coming and to just hang on and not do anything rash. I hung on. I really didn’t have a choice but I didn’t tell him that. If I walked I would end up probably earning minimum wage unless I was lucky to find a local technology firm needing to hire someone. As it was, my skills are very specialized and we are what we call a dying breed, no one is being trained in what we do. The age of the people I am working with are all of retirement age except for maybe two of us.

So, I hung on, in the next month we received a new manager, someone I’ve known for almost thirty years. From the moment he took over the job, all the stress from that situation went away. I could breathe again and focus on my work. The task that had my previous manager all up in arms over was now a thing I could work with and build so it was more effective in my job instead of being told how to design it according to how he thought it would be more effective which under his direction ended up being so in-effective and such a headache I couldn’t get anything else done.


About Kate Spyder

I'm a creative individual finding her way in her writing. I enjoy expressing my deep thoughts through poetry and stories. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy writing them.
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