A Submissive’s Journey – 13May2014 10:59pm to 14May2014 6:10am

10:59pm

I have accepted Liberate One’s Sub Assignment Number 2. I will be using kneeling position number 2. I will begin it in the morning.

Today has been a quiet day, a rather normal day. Other than waking to no internet but it did start working soon enough for me to begin my work and quickly post my journal entry and a little thing I wrote which my Sir liked. Which made me grin widely when he told me. I like pleasing my Sir. He also tasked me with telling him whenever I masturbate and what I think about when I do. Well, he got a little surprise in his email when after finishing my little story about no internet connection and I felt the need to masturbate thinking about the trip to the store portion of my tale. I think he is bringing out my slut. *smiles* which makes me feel rather wicked, or is that naughty.

I’m off to kneel, then bed. Good night, readers.

11:59pm

I performed fifteen minutes of kneeling and repeating both groups of sentences from Sub Assignment Number 1. This was a practice run of sorts. This will be my pattern both morning and night for the next five days starting in the morning when I awaken.

I have been in communication with another submissive. It started with a simple comment which began our email exchanges and supporting each other through our new journeys as submissives. We seemed to be at similar places in our journey when we met. At this point she still has no Dominant, while I have my Teacher. I have spoken to my Teacher about her not in specifics but enough that he is willing to help her and answer questions if she has any. She is hesitant to go to him. She doesn’t want any competition to arise between us. I am grateful for her concern, though I had never thought there would be, her mentioning the possibility of it set off some emotions which surprised me. I realized if anyone did attempt to step in and try to compete between me and my Teacher it would most assuredly become competitive and I would feel my she-bear or she-wolf arise to defend my position. I have never felt this before towards any man. I did however reassure my submissive friend that I know what it is like to be a submissive without a Dominant, without someone to go to when my emotions were all rioting and off kilter. Regardless of any competitiveness that might arise, I did not want this to stop her from seeking my Teacher’s assistance. I want her to feel safe. I want her to be comfortable in her submission and if my Sir can help her to do this, then I want her to seek his help. I can’t explain why I feel this way. I just do. My Sir called it altruism. I have never had anyone describe my actions as such and in fact I do not feel this way towards all submissives which means between me and this other submissive I must have formed a bond of sorts, one in which, I care for her beyond any conflicts that might arise and I trust my Sir to do what is best for us both. I would not offer this with just anyone. I am realizing that this is how I see building my family, that which I have desired my whole life. It is a strange feeling to know that acceptance of my submissive nature has opened these doors which I have sought my whole life.

6:10am

Day 1 :

  • 5 minutes masturbation prior to kneeling
  • 15 minutes kneeling, saying both groups of sentences from Sub Assignment Number 1

Midway through the fifteen minutes of kneeling and saying the statements aloud I found myself putting emphasis upon the word ‘I’. I took my time throughout saying the sentences aloud, never rushing and allowing each sentence to be absorbed, its meaning settling into me. I found no fear in any of them and the thoughts they provoked, the images they provoked, were pleasant. I masturbated for five minutes prior to kneeling, my thoughts on the kneeling to be next and the feel of my fingers. As instructed, I did not cum.

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About Kate Spyder

I'm a creative individual finding her way in her writing. I enjoy expressing my deep thoughts through poetry and stories. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy writing them.
This entry was posted in A Submissive's Journey, Journal and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to A Submissive’s Journey – 13May2014 10:59pm to 14May2014 6:10am

  1. farrahdomid says:

    You are so interesting. In the best way possible. “I think he is bringing out my slit,” lol. I enjoyed that. And it’s funny, because I was reading your poem My Desire, and I could tell that it was about being submissive and I got that feel, but I was afraid to say it just in case I was wrong. Now I understand! Good luck on your journey. Are you hoping to achieve something or is this just can experience?

  2. farrahdomid says:

    “finally accepting who I am.” I think that’s so important for everyone. To face yourself, look into yourself, and despite how you feel about the things you see, you’re still able to love yourself, and accept yourself for everything you are. I’m happy for you. I’ll check out the link, thanks for that

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