My Mess

*This is a poem I wrote yesterday after coming home from the doctor’s appointment and contemplating on writing an email to my Sir.*

I would spare you if I could
It’s not right what I have done
This is about my stupid choices
Which has taken me like a gun.

Don’t hold it against me
I just didn’t want to know
I still don’t
But they are making me
And so it has begun.

This journey wasn’t what I thought it would be
It is marvellously wrought with peril
Digging into a past better left to rest
Making me want to lean upon you
And cry for my weary soul.

This is all my fault
No one to blame but myself
I should walk this path alone
I deserve nothing else.

But I want to cling to you
I want to cry on your shoulder
I want you to hold me and tell me
You will stay with me no matter.

Don’t lie to me and tell me
Everything will be all right
I don’t need the lies or platitudes
I just need you.

Don’t let me run away
Don’t let me hide in shame
Don’t let me turn my back
On this
If you have hope
We’ll last
More than just a trainer
More than just a sub
More than just two people
But souls learning
To blend as one.

I’m scared, I don’t deny it
I’ve let this go for too long
It is time to clean up my mess
And hope it isn’t too late to start.

© Kate Spyder

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About Kate Spyder

I'm a creative individual finding her way in her writing. I enjoy expressing my deep thoughts through poetry and stories. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy writing them.
This entry was posted in A Submissive's Journey, Poetry and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to My Mess

  1. farrahdomid says:

    This accurately describes my life. Nodding my head a the way through. Really amazing. &by the way, you do deserve me. Always remember that

    • Kate Spyder says:

      Thank you so much! That means the world to me. I find it amazing some of the wonderful people I am meeting out here. This part of my life might be hard, at this moment and time, but I’m also having the time of my life. and I’m glad I’ve met you!

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