Have no idea what to title this other than, “Life as a single mother”

I started writing a post on Mother’s Day but in truth, it was all a bunch of rambling bullshit. My daughter and I celebrate our love for each other every day and Mother’s Day for us is the same as every day we spend together. Generally her school teachers will have projects for Mother’s and Father’s Days to help the kids create something to take home but this year her class was deep into a multicultural project and it slipped her teacher’s mind. The Monday after Mother’s Day, my daughter came home with a simple handmade candle holder. She apologized for not getting me anything and explained about the project at school. I told her it is fine because for me Mother’s day is every day with her because she gives me hugs and kisses every day.

I feel blessed with her, because we are close and so far we have been able to remain close no matter the issues which might come up. Don’t get me wrong, we will get mad at each other but it doesn’t last long.

We are both looking forward to having our own home which we can decorate and do with as we please.  It is getting closer and closer to being a reality. Yesterday, the home inspection was done. Nothing major came up in the inspection, only a few minor things, some of which are the responsibility of the strata, others are mine and one or two which I will have to find out whether they are mine or the strata’s responsibility but nothing that will cost major dollars. As I suspected the appliances are old, and I have plans to replace them eventually. I will need to make a list and expenses involved. The furnace is old but if regular maintenance is performed it should last another 15 years. The hot water tank is reaching end of life expectancy but could also last another 5 to 10 years however I need to plan for it in my budget as soon as possible so I will be prepared if it should suddenly give up the ghost. The home inspection helped ease my mind and didn’t come up with anything I didn’t expect.

I am now tackling the strata docs and trying to understand them. There however seems to be a group of minutes missing which would be the latest from 2015. I have brought this to the attention of the realtor as well as there is no clear documentation stating the responsibilities of the strata versus my responsibilities as an owner. I’ve never dealt with a strata before but my logical mind thinks there should be clear documentation listing out rules and regulations as well as what is covered in maintenance by my strata fees. There was also a statement in regarding insurance and that the owner if they make upgrades to the structure like flooring and such that they should acquire insurance to cover the updates as the strata insurance only covers original installation. I have no idea what was original and what wasn’t so should there not be a document on what was original to each of the homes? If not, then how am I to know what I need to cover in my personal condominium insurance?

If anyone has experience with this please let me know, please keep in mind, I am in Canada and it might be different for what is done in the states or other countries.

The strata is the one thing that can make or break our experience in buying this townhouse. It could end up causing me to not want to purchase at all. But right now it is all I can afford, which means we either buy something with a strata and learn to work with it or we continue to rent and I save money which probably means not buying a home for another five or even ten years. At my age that will make it harder to buy and means retirement is far down the road.

This will be a learning experience for me but hopefully a good one and not a bad one. If I’m lucky it means it will be the only strata I will have to deal with or we will have learned a lot and find out we don’t mind dealing with a strata. The one good thing is I have already met one neighbor who has had a lot of experience with stratas. I have no doubt if I have any questions I could go to her for help. If I can’t get the answers to my questions I may go knock on her door in the next day or so. I may do it anyway regardless of getting my questions or concerns addressed.

Once the deposit is made, I will have a couple months to decide if I want to have AC installed or just use portable AC units. I’m torn between the convenience of central AC and the inconvenience but less expense of portable units. I would most likely need a unit for each floor, which would mean two at least, maybe three. The problem with central AC is the third floor does not have the duct work for the air flow, it has the baseboard electric radiators to heat each room so the cool air would only flow into the first and second floor and not into the third floor bedrooms. The third floor is where I would have the most difficulty putting in a window AC unit or I would have to find a place to store a portable unit so I didn’t have to try and get it up or down the stairs. I’m leaning towards central AC, and then seeing how it goes for the third floor during hot periods. If necessary my daughter and I could camp out in the lower levels if it gets too hot, or we could buy a portable for the third floor. I just need to run the numbers, but I need to get one or two more estimates for installing central AC. I have only one right now.

In regards to my health, some maybe wondering how I am doing. My hair is still growing, however slowly. A friend told me it is long enough now that I don’t look like a cancer patient any more. I saw my surgeon Monday and he told me what to look out for, what I would feel if cancer should come back but otherwise he said everything looks good. I however do have a problem that isn’t in his area so he is sending me to a gynecologist for them to determine if surgery is necessary or if we can do anything non-surgical to fix the problem. My energy levels are good. Physically I’m doing well. Mentally it is hard at times (see my previous post) and my priorities have definitely shifted.

My surgeon gave me a prescription for a prosthesis and bra. I am entitled to one prosthesis and one bra each year that will be completely paid for. There is a pharmacy locally which will help me get fitted. I plan to go there in the next few days. I think it will help tremendously to at least have the appearance of two breasts instead of having the material on my chest go flat on one side, even if most people don’t notice it.  He showed me a prosthesis and I was amazed how lifelike it was in appearance. He also said it can be adhered to the chest though I would still need a bra to help support it. I will be interesting to see how it feels and looks.

Time to end this and get on with my day. It will hopefully be better than yesterday which ended up with me taking my daughter to ER after she got hit in the head with a dodge ball which cause her to have uncontrollable twitching. In the end, the doctor said she most likely had a mild concussion and the twitching and bit of headache she had would slowly go away over the next couple of hours. They did, though at bedtime she was still having some slight twitching, this morning she didn’t have any, so she is doing well. It was one of those scary moments for me however which I don’t care to relive.



About Kate Spyder

I'm a creative individual finding her way in her writing. I enjoy expressing my deep thoughts through poetry and stories. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy writing them.
This entry was posted in A Submissive's Journey, Journal and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Have no idea what to title this other than, “Life as a single mother”

  1. BallsyBilly says:

    Sounds like you are on top of things. 🙂 You should be proud of yourself.
    Buying and maintaining a home can be a real headache, starting with the paperwork etc. and ending with maintenance and appliance repair or replacement. But well worth in the long run. In my experience, home owners insurance is god sent. More added expense but pay off in the long run. Especially with older homes.
    If you have Lowes or Home Depot, check out a portable floor unit for keeping cool. My AC goes out at least once a year and it has saved me in Vegas 100 plus temps.
    Sounds like your health is getting much better..Yay.. 🙂
    Hoping the best for “isn’t in his area” ??
    Also hoping everything OK with your daughter.

    • Kate Spyder says:

      Thanks Billy. My biggest headache right now is going over the strata bylaws and regulations. I have never lived within a strata so this is all new to me. The last thing I want to do is buy a place and find out either they won’t approve our pets or I end up having a fight on my hands every time I want to make improvements like add central AC. Hopefully, I’ll get that ironed out today. I do have a window AC unit I can use if I have to. The thing that is ‘not in his area’ is the wall between my vagina and rectum has thinned. It may need surgery or there maybe other ways to help correct the problem. Apparently this isn’t uncommon. I think my mother had it too. It can come from either childbirth or from lowered estrogen in the body. And in my case they don’t want me taking estrogen, so it is sort of a catch-22 situation. My daughter is doing well, although the twitching did come back yesterday the pediatrician we saw yesterday wasn’t concerned. She may have what is called exercise induced asthma but the only way to find out is to try an inhaler to see if it helps with the breathing problems she has when she exercises. If the inhaler helps then that will be the diagnosis if not then we have to go back to see the pediatrician.

      • BallsyBilly says:

        Thin walls, exercise induced asthma. Omg Kate. I do hope for the best for both of you. I will be sending good health vibes and praying to the moon for you both. (He does work)

      • Kate Spyder says:

        Thanks Billy, all will be okay. By the way, we just found out our dog is 1.5 lbs over the restricted limit for a dog’s weight at the strata. I’m waiting to hear if they will say ‘no’ or make an exception. If they make an exception I’ve asked for it to be put in writing. My daughter is already willing to forgo this place because of all the rules. I’m not far behind her. Maybe wait a year and save up enough to buy a house that isn’t under the control of a strata. I hope you are having a good evening and thanks for the prayers and good health vibes they are greatly appreciated.

      • BallsyBilly says:

        After what I’m hearing, I might agree with waiting and getting a house. Strata sounds like a Gestapo home owners association. Sighhhh

      • Kate Spyder says:

        Yeah, I’m thinking the same thing. In fact, I’m writing a post about my day today. I head hurts just from thinking about it.

      • BallsyBilly says:

        Take two aspirin, a spanking and an orgasm and you’ll be fine. 🙂
        Seriously, hang in there.

      • Kate Spyder says:

        ahhh, thanks, care to take a quick trip up here to administer the spanking? I think I can manage the aspirin on my own but the spanking takes an extra hand. I’m hanging, really I am, it might not sound like it but I’ve learned from our cat that hanging has its benefits if done with the proper finesse, and balance of wicked intent with angelic motivation.

      • BallsyBilly says:

        Hmmm a road trip 🙂
        That cat bring back memories of that picture of cat hanging in the tree. I’m sure that’s were you were going.. 😉

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