Stress and worries…

One of my biggest problems is worrying about how things will come together. I can plan all I want to. I can have things scheduled down to the minute but it doesn’t mean that is how it will all pan out. I worry about every little thing and whether something will put a wrench into the works and throw the timing all off. I don’t know how to not worry about this. Especially on something as important as what I have coming up.

July 30th is the closing on the purchase of our townhouse. I’m not concerned about the closing. I have what I need for it. What I’m concerned about is the timing for everything else. We take possession on August 4th. Once I have the keys, then I’ll have the rest of the 4th and all day on the 5th to remove the planter that is in the way of installing the central AC unit. A friend said he could help with that. On August 6th I have the AC being installed, then hopefully I can have a mover come in and pack everything on the 7th and move me on the 8th. The rest will be a breeze of me cleaning up the rental suite and unpacking what we need in the new place.

Here is my worry. I’m waiting on a check which will help cover AC installation and my move. I don’t know if the bank will end up putting a hold on those funds until the check clears, possibly 30 days. I don’t have that check yet which means a 30 day hold could really throw off my schedule. Meaning I would have to reschedule the AC installation, and possibly have to find another way to move that is less expensive. I could possibly consider taking out a short term loan until the check clears then pay it all off. It is just a huge hassle to do so. I know the funds are on their way, it is just a matter of how long it will take the check to get here and then what the bank will require before it releases the money.

I’m not good with things like this. I woke this morning at 4am and couldn’t go back to sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about it and trying to come up with a contingency plan. It has been unusually hot here so AC is very important. I do have a window unit but I would have to get permission from the strata council to install it and to go through the requirements they have for how it is installed even just temporarily just wouldn’t be worth the effort to just turn around and take it out 30 days later or less. I should have requested the check be express delivered but I thought I had plenty of time when I requested the funds so now I’m sitting here worrying about it and it feels like the pot of water will never boil while I’m watching it and I’m afraid to look away in case the water evaporates and I have nothing left to boil and the pot goes up in smoke.

Also the moving company who came the other day gave me an estimate yesterday which was more costly than I thought it would be. I have another company coming by today to see what they will estimate. I’m good at packing. I know I can do it if I have to and it may come down to that and just paying the moving company to move everything and not do the packing. I’ve done it both ways in the past. In the past though, movers have complained about my boxes being heavy. When I mentioned this to the woman who came by to do the first estimate she said no problem they liked their boxes heavy because it means they are packed tight. I told her they would be the first company I’ve ever dealt with who liked them that way. But I know she isn’t the one who would be moving them so I rather doubt her claim. Either way, if I pack then that is how they will be. It is too bad we don’t have metal ramps that could be placed over the stairs so they could use a dolly. I’m sure a lot of the time estimated is because of the stairs involved.

On top of all of this, I need to narrow down a moving date, which I can’t do until I know how I’m going to move. If I have to rely on friends then I need to make sure those friends are available or what date they would be available. The estimate I get from the person who will come by today will help me decide. Then to alleviate some of the stress I may go talk to my bank about a short term loan in case I need it so I’ll know how long it will take to get it in place. This will tell me if I need to have a contingency plan in place for rescheduling AC installation and whether I should go the cheapest route possible for my move. I don’t like feeling so constrained financially. It isn’t that I don’t have the funds, it is that they were not in an account readily available at my fingertips. That won’t happen again.

I was reminded too today that the stress is depleting my progesterone. When it gets depleted I feel anxiety on a far greater level than I normally do and I can have panic attacks, so I need to adjust my progesterone a bit, probably until this move is done. I love supporting my body naturally but sometimes it isn’t all that easy or convenient. I like easy and convenient… lol

The one good thing is next week I’m taking time off work to be on vacation. I won’t be going anywhere but I will be able to focus completely on things around the house for the move and possibly get a large portion of the packing as well as sorting through items to be donated or discarded. It will be good to not have my mind constantly split in two trying to focus on work and the move.


About Kate Spyder

I'm a creative individual finding her way in her writing. I enjoy expressing my deep thoughts through poetry and stories. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy writing them.
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