Often times we find ourselves on a journey we did not expect. I’m not sure how many people actually succeed in creating their life exactly the way they had envisioned it to be. All I know is, anything I have planned doesn’t turn out like I envisioned it to be.
That isn’t to say it is a bad thing. It just can be very frustrating, and most times it pushes our comfort zone. May be that is why it happens. May be we need to find ourselves a bit out of our comfort zone in order to grow and to change, so we can become more than we are.
I have found myself in such a situation. Which has made me do some soul searching, but most of all it has made me re-evaluate myself.
I’ve been doing a lot of practicing lately. I’ve been practicing positive thinking. That sometimes doesn’t go so well. It is so easy to fall back on old habits. I used to think I was a positive person, but over the past year, evaluating my life and especially myself, I have learned that isn’t necessarily true. Practicing though, is turning that around. I’ll probably be practicing positive thinking for the rest of my life.
I mention all of this because one of the hardest things I’ve had to do, other than facing cancer and the loss of my job was to break down barriers, blockages which have been in place since I was a child. One of those blockages has to do with how I feel about myself and my abilities as an artist.
Like many artist, I’m very critical of what I create. I was so critical in fact, I allowed it to interfere with even picking up a pencil and making a single mark on a page with the intent to draw something. Part of practicing positive thinking includes practicing telling myself I am an artist.
This has led me to practicing other things, one of those things is drawing. Portraiture drawing to be more precise. I was looking back through some of the pictures I posted here and realized I haven’t posted much in a while. I have my reasons for that which I’m not going to explain here. At least not at this time. I thought though I would post something to show my progress.
This first picture, I posted a while back when I first started working on learning how to draw faces. In fact, it was October 28, 2016 when I posted it. I remember being proud of myself for being able to create the drawings without a reference photo. I steered away from reference photos because it was just too hard to look at what I was able to produce and see how far off it was from the picture I was referencing.Today, I still don’t use reference photos very much, but occasionally I do. Tonight was one of those nights I decided to use a reference photo and this is the result:
It still doesn’t look like the person in the photo but I am a great deal closer to being able create something that closely resembles the person than I was last October. It also looks more realistic than my previous drawings. I’m still working on getting proportions correct. The eyes are right, which always seems to be a problem for me. I would say the eyes are the hardest for me, but that isn’t necessarily true. Just getting the whole angle, size, shape, and alignment correct is challenging. It’s getting better though.
I still have quite a ways to go before I have a life like drawing, but even I can see the improvement I’ve made since last October. That being said, I’m continuing to practice. Maybe one day I will be able to draw her and some of you may be able to recognize her.