She…

She… I call her ‘she’, because first and foremost my character is a ‘she’. I don’t want to give her a name, because ‘she’ can be any female, anywhere in life or in this world or universe.

She walked through the door, hoping for a miracle but knowing deep in her heart she was past being given any miracles. She wondered how much that attitude kept the miracles at bay.

Doors are for walking through, or so she told herself, even though she knew some people used them for keeping people out, or keeping themselves in. She had been one of each of those types of people at various points in her life. Currently, she was about finding ways to walk through them, no matter how scary she imagined it would be on the other side.

Today, at least, her fear didn’t keep her immobilized. It only marginally effected her digestive system. Thank god, nothing pushed her stressors like the last job she had and had to quit. She had lost ten pounds in just the two weeks following her training when she had started to actually do the job she was trained to do. She could never hold a job like that, not because she wasn’t smart enough but because she physically couldn’t handle the stress any more.

Two major life changes, possibly leading into a third, and she had reached her physical limit to containing and managing stress. At home, she did things she loved doing and utilized them to learn what she could about herself and to let go of the things she could not change.

Today, opening and walking through the door, was a symbolic act of where she was in life. Would this act alone bring her what she needed? Would it give her any relief to the worries and fears her life now contained? What could she do differently that would bring about a solution she was able to live with? Or was she already in that place?

That was the big question. Did she already have what she needed? Was she just making things seem worse than they really were? How could she ever know what was the truth and what was just made up in her own head?

She has always been the type of person who could see the whole range of possibilities from any given action or decision to be made. Most times, the ability, to do so, aided her in making a choice that she could live with and in some cases really feel happy about. On the rare occasion, that talent would cause her more angst than she wanted in her life.

Today was one of those days, or should she say, the past year has been one of those times. It was one of those times when the hard, the difficult, the more worrisome parts of her vision overpowered the truly wonderful possibilities.

Walking back out the door a few hours later, and nothing had changed. Well, that isn’t really true. What had changed was having to face facts. She couldn’t sit on her butt hoping someone would throw her the bone of her dreams. She would have to work for what she wanted.

She knew deep down what she wanted. She knew with all her heart. Would she be able to make it happen? Would she have the stamina required? Would she be able to open her heart and soul to the possibility and embrace it wholeheartedly? And the biggest question of them all. Would she be able to be open to embracing the challenges that would come her way as learning and growing experiences to aid her journey instead of seeing them as obstacles to make her fail or give up?

Getting into her car, looking at the gas gauge, seeing it so near empty, was so representative of where she felt she was in her life right now. It reminded her of how an optimist sees a glass as half full, and a pessimist sees a glass as half empty. She had always been the half empty type. Knowing this would not serve her, she decided it was time to change perspective. Even that seemed daunting.

In reality, there was only a small amount of room left for going down. Looking down was no longer an option. Everything she does from now on would be only done to lift her up, to see her next step as going forward upon the trail she was now blazing for herself. Well, blazing was a rather strong term, it was more like treading, leaving behind small footprints barely reflecting her passage.

She wasn’t out to change the world as everyone else knew it. She was out to change only her small significant world she lived within. That in itself was daunting enough.

 

Posted in Fiction, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Just saying…

For those who feel a need to give me advice on what to do in regards to my current circumstances, all I ask is, be kind, be gentle, but most of all be positive. Leave your negativity, your narrow minded attitude, and your condescending attitude at home. I don’t need it here.

I have been fighting my own internal negativity my whole life. I am finally breathing fresh air and seeing the beauty surrounding me. I have chosen to eliminate as much negativity as I can from my life. Therefore, if you come to me with a negative attitude, hell bent on criticizing my choices, telling me I have fallen into a deep hole, out of desperation, take it elsewhere. You are not welcome here. Any such comments will be deleted, after of course, my friends have a hay day of slamming you into the deep dark despair which apparently is your life and you feel the need to take me down with you. Sorry, but I’m not going with you.

There, that is an uncensored view into my mind. I hope you enjoyed it.

Take care, you know who you are.

As for the rest of my followers, thank you for being there. Thank you for letting me ramble, and dump my brain all over these pages and supporting me  with kindness through it all. You are the best.

~Kate

Posted in Journal | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Update…

I remember one of the reasons I started this blog. Even so, I had no idea where I would find myself upon this journey. I love writing. I love creativity in all its forms but mostly in mixed media. It seems I’ve steered far off course, or had some interesting side trips along the way.

I foraged into unknown areas. Some of those areas are still mostly unknown. I still have questions about just how it does or does not fit into my life. I’ve had some major events happen which have made me change course. All of these are okay. For now, I’m enjoying my life and exploring my art, my creativity.

I have considered discontinuing this blog. It’s path has become a bit obscure. Should I continue writing things like my short stories? Should I share more of my art? Should I return to learning more about Dom/sub relationships?

It is sometimes hard to be honest with one’s self. I try, and sometimes my mind takes a U-turn to try and avoid what is really on my mind. This post might be one of those.

I want to share my art, but I want to do so authentically, in my own voice, in my creative person, not on an anonymous blog or somewhat anonymous. Dare I reveal my real face, my real name to this community? I’m not ashamed of anything here. There are just real life stories which might hurt those I love and hold dear. Are they ready for that? Am I ready for that?

Did I take another U-turn? Or did I avoid it?

I’ve avoided anything to do with Dom/sub relationships since my diagnosis of breast cancer. I am sure that has become clear to anyone who has or is following my blog. Having your mortality shoved in your face, which cancer does, there develops a shift in priorities, in what is considered important or not important.

I have learned from my research and explorations prior to my diagnosis that there are aspects of a Dom/sub relationship which appeal to me, in a very strong way. These aspects can also conflict with my programming, to the point, I may want to change channels.

In my research and explorations, it has become apparent to me that any continued exploration is pointless for me if there is no man in my life. In case you are wondering, no, there is no man in my life. It has also come to my attention that having a relationship such as a Dom/sub relationship online without any real life meetups or physical contact doesn’t work for me. This is why it looks as though I’ve abandoned this avenue of my life. I haven’t. I’m just in a waiting phase.

I have without a doubt come to understand there is an order to things. We can’t jump from never having touched water to suddenly being an Olympic swimmer winning awards. The same thing goes for healthy romantic relationships.

WOO! Say WHAT?

Yeah, that can be a huge one to grasp and has taken me my whole life so far to finally realize and admit. I need to be healthy, emotionally healthy or any relationship I have may fail and has failed.

This is the rather big elephant sitting in my living room right now. People are constantly surprised by how much I trust them, or at least did until my last relationship. I did trust people. I trusted them but not myself. There is so much I could go into right now about what I need to do. What I need to heal, but I won’t. If I learned nothing else, this is for me to understand. Me to accept.

When I think about Dom/sub relationships, and the trust each partner puts into the other, I know I don’t have that to give. Not until I learn to trust and love myself. I’m not a victim. I’m not lost and needing someone to find me and fix me. I’m a person who has some open wounds that need attention and time to heal. Some of those wounds have been open my entire life time. Others are fairly recent if you can call 14 years ago recent. Others are from not too long ago, tied to cancer, and layoff and tightly wound up in my earliest wounds.

As I write this, I’m realizing the answers to some of my earlier questions. Yes, I’ll keep this blog open. Yes, I’ll write, most likely fiction, maybe with a bit of erotica. Who knows. It will all be about my inner sanctum and working towards healing.

I once showed a new friend my story, Breath. He was put off by the graphic nature of it and the violence. My purpose in showing it to him, was the same purpose behind my writing it. Though the imagery was about choking someone, it was more about giving one’s self in trust so completely to another person that the walls the person had erected and kept in place for their entire life could finally be dismantled, destroyed, disintegrated.

This is what my writing is about. Those walls are mine. The struggle to let go is mine. The inability to trust myself to survive touching another person’s soul, is mine. I claim it.

I could argue that to reveal this, is a vulnerability I’m not ready for, but that wouldn’t be true. There are only a select few who know my real name and face. Is revealing it to strangers all the more difficult? It is the unknown. The unknown of just who is reading this. Whether I could end up meeting a stranger, someone I know nothing about and without me knowing it, they know more about me because of reading this blog. I can’t go into just how scary that thought is and how tightly it is bound to my last relationship. Which just goes to show you how my trust in other people has been broken.

As an artist, I want my art connected directly to me. I want people to be able to look at my art and know it is me. I want people to look at me and know the art is from me.  I may from time to time post something here that I have created. I’m not sure where my creativity will take me. I find very little art offensive, however, I do know in some of my art communities I’m involved with, there can be those who could be offended, or feel some art isn’t appropriate. If I venture in that direction, then those may be what end up being posted here.

I’m not just painting, or using mixed media. I’m also drawing, in graphite, and ink. I’m learning in small increments how to draw the human body. Currently I’m focused on faces or rather portraits both realism and whimsical.

Drawing whimsical had an interested effect on my ability to draw realism. Ever since I learned I could draw in 8th grade, everything I did was realism. I couldn’t comprehend how to do caricatures, let alone fantasy or whimsical. Luckily for me at the time, those weren’t stressed or a major part of the classes or grades. Now, though I wonder if they should have been. After graduating high school, any attempt I made at drawing was blocked. I always approached realism, and because it wasn’t perfect, I stopped trying.

My recent art endeavors involved learning from teachers who lean more towards whimsical. They stress how nothing has to be perfect. The eyes can be wonky. The hands don’t need to be detailed. The bodies don’t have to be anatomically correct or symmetrical. This was a relief. I could let those things go and just see what I could do. It gave me the much needed freedom to set my inner critic aside.

All those things I learned I could let go of when drawing whimsical characters, now became ingrained and carried forward with me when I picked up my pencil to draw a portrait in realism. It was freeing. It was liberating. I was amazing. It IS amazing.

I have yet to draw a portrait and have it look so much like the reference picture that you have no doubt it is the person in the picture. I have drawn a few portraits that look like real people just not a particular person. That is okay. In fact, that is better than okay. It tells me I’m on the road to being able to create some beautiful portraits in realism.

In doing this, I am moving a few walls. Some of them so deeply rooted, it takes a lot of repeating of the practice to get them to budge at all. I’m applying these techniques to other areas of my life. Sometimes without even thinking about it. Sometimes with sudden Ah-Ha moments that make a wall start crumbling in amazement. However, it is hard to break old habits. I’m working on it.

~Kate

Posted in A Submissive's Journey, Journal, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Multi Day Spread

Source: Multi Day Spread

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I don’t write much any more…

That isn’t exactly the truth. I write a lot. I write a lot in my journal. I started a new practice called morning pages after getting the book “The Artist’s Way”. I’m applying her techniques. I’m only in Week One but I’ve made it my first priority every morning.

After I do my morning pages, I then select a daily affirmation.Today’s is “Through the use of a few simple tools, my creativity will flourish.” I write this ten times after my morning pages. Following each iteration, I write down a negative thought I had as I wrote the affirmation. I don’t have to make up any negative thoughts, they come without any prompting on my part. By the end of writing the affirmation ten times, I have ten negative thoughts. I look these over and I rewrite them into positive thoughts. I write them as though they currently exist, even if they don’t.

Following the daily affirmation, I then create a section for me to write down something I’m grateful for that day. I fill this in usually at the end of the day or I will do it the next day when I’m setting up my journaling section for the new day. This is followed by a To Do list.

The To Do list is a simple one, containing only things I can get done in a single day. Items that take more time go on my weekly To Do list. This isn’t to say I actually do all the items on my To Do list for that day or that week. If not, I add them to the next day’s or week’s list.

Then comes my daily Tarot card pulling which I also write about in my journal. I pull only one card after asking what does the Universe have for me today, or what does the Universe want me to know today. Usually these are very insightful and give me much to think about or something to focus on discovering about myself or opens my eyes to something I’ve been ignoring about myself.

I’ve been alternating between two different decks. Osho Zen Tarot and Revelations Tarot. Today, I pulled one card from both. I was curious what would come up. The first was Four of Swords (reversed) , the second was XI Breakthrough. Both are interesting because the Four of Swords (reversed) means I’m being forced to rest, which helps me to understand why I’ve been unable to find a job over the past year and why I was laid off. The second, XI Breakthrough, is a card about transforming. I found this statement brought me clarity “To transform breakdowns into breakthroughs is the whole function of a master.” and then “The dawn is not far away, but before you can reach the dawn, the dark night has to be passed through. And as the dawn comes closer, the night will become darker.” From “Revelations Tarot Companion”.

I found both cards interesting in how they relate to what is going on right now. Since my breakdown last year in May, I have been on medication. The last time I saw my doctor he had me increase the dosage because I seemed too lethargic. The increased dosage just increased my feelings of sleepiness, fogginess and just not caring, so I got my doctor’s approval to discontinue the medication. I had to wean myself off of it. I’m now completely off of it and my mind is starting to come to the surface, and out of the fog.

This medication did not help me rest. It just numbed me, kept my emotions at a manageable level. It didn’t help me to understand what was going on, it just helped me to not think about it too much. Thinking about it, fighting against it, not accepting it and not learning used up my energies, depleted my resources, kept me from moving on. What it did do was give me time. Time that I needed to get enough distance from being laid off and not having a job, and to get closer to connecting with my inner artist.

This past year has been a roller coaster ride of emotions, mostly of despair and feelings of impending doom. I dislike feeling that way. Recently, in my ongoing artistic endeavors, I’ve been drawn to teachers who don’t just teach art and art techniques, they teach how to use art to heal, work through difficult periods of your life, recover from trauma and so forth. This has been an interesting journey. Even so, I’ve been finding myself going through the motions, taking the classes but not really connecting with what they were teaching about how to approach my art so it will help me heal. This just reveals how out of touch the medication was causing.

I’ve been so confused about why it is no one is calling me or hiring me for the jobs I apply for. Even as far as having one interviewer tell me she had a difficult time making a choice and that she was sorry to have to tell me she had chosen someone else. She told me she thought I would do well in whatever I did. Sometimes I know people say this to make the blow less severe and to give a person hope. However, I am sure she was not just saying it. I have reasons for believing this other than just the words she wrote to me in the rejection email.

It has been frustrating, even though I know things happen for a reason, I could not, no matter how hard I tried, come to a good reason for the Universe or God setting in place my not working. I couldn’t see anything good come out of my losing my job and having no income.  I could only see the bad outcome of losing everything, and not being able to feed my daughter. I felt like I was being punished for something no one was telling me I did wrong.

Pulling the tarot card four of swords helped me to understand this is a time of rest for me, of regrouping, of letting my mind stop, become silent and let my energy pools fill up, become restored. Fighting this only kept me depleted. It helped me to see, the Universe was forcing me to rest, something I desperately needed but fought against.

I can be rather stubborn. When I look back over the past few years I can see moments when I was being told to give myself time to rest. To work on recovering and allowing my energies to be restored. I stubbornly refused to pay attention to the signs.

Now, as I follow my inner urging, usually driving me to distraction, if I try to ignore them, I am given gradual direction into areas of learning how to do deeper and deeper inner work. Each step takes me further than the last. If I take the steps required that is. As long as I was on the medication, I wasn’t being given any direction other than some light inner healing work. I needed much deeper work but had no idea how to do it. Once I stopped the medication and my mind became clearer more direction has been given and I am seeing things I missed earlier. I am now learning and moving forward.

Actions, bear consequences, or they bear fruit. Taking the medication at first, helped me to calm my inner turmoil, long enough to gather myself and accept what is happening in my life. I want to say I took it too long, however, I’m learning we do things as they need to be done. I took the medication for as long as I needed to, in order to get me where I am today. Now that I have stopped the medication, I’m able to think more clearly and have the courage to look deeper at what is happening.

My life is changing. It is changing into something I never dreamed of but secretly desired my whole life. In order to get there, I have to do the inner work. I have to let go of my past preconceptions. I have to let go of the suit I allowed myself to wear in order to fit within what society makes us believe we need to wear, in order to fit in. I don’t want to fit in any more. I want to be who I am, in all my glorious being. Being accepted by others would be a wonderful plus, however, I will no longer live my life in order to be accepted, except in the only way I need to be accepted and that is by me.

I spent the past year fighting against what the Universe wanted for me. I fought so hard, I almost lost my mind. I fought against it, never dreaming what I was fighting against was my own happiness and feelings of joy, I can have with this new life.

Don’t get me wrong. I still have concerns about how we will survive. Whether I will have enough money to feed, clothe and keep a roof over our heads. BUT… and this is a big BUT… I need to learn to trust I have enough. I have what I need and if not, the Universe will see that I am given what I need.

I believe life is about learning to accept the struggles it brings with it but even more so to learn to trust we have what we need to work through those struggles. What I love doing, my art, my creativity, gives me joy, joy that carries over and surrounds my struggles with pure happiness and acceptance that all will be well.

I have to or otherwise, I’ll go insane from the fighting of it, from the worry of it, from not accepting it.

Sometimes we know things, deep down we know them, but we either forget about them or we choose to not believe they are true or real. I have known for a long time, that we are given challenges in our lives. Those challenges are to help us grow. To help us meet our true selves. The struggles we face are usually the Universe or God’s way of getting us back on track. When we choose a different path which is not for us, we are given obstacles to try and steer us back into our true life’s path. When we fight against this, is when the obstacles,  our struggles become so unbearable we think we will die or fail or our lives dissolve into a woeful mess. When we start working with what we are given is when our lives begin to change and become something we never thought it would be or imagine it would become.

I still can’t imagine where this path is taking me, where I will end up. I forget that life isn’t about where we end up but about the journey. Even though I am not sure I have enough to sustain us financially, I am enjoying the process of learning, of meeting my inner artist and helping her grow. I’m enjoying no longer working in a high stress, time driven environment in an increasingly unstable corporate environment. I don’t miss it one bit. If, however, I were yanked back into a similar job, similar environment or just working full time again, I would greatly miss what I am doing now. There is something to be said about that, something to be grateful for. It doesn’t mean I’m giving up on looking for a new job. It does, however, mean I’ll be approaching it a bit differently.

~Kate

Posted in Journal | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Do we ever really let go….

I have been combining my art journaling with learning more about myself. In doing so, I invested in two year long classes. One is Life Book 2017 provided by Tamara Laporte and the other is Book of Days 2017 provided by Effy Wild. Both women subscribe to using art as a healing process. They help you learn how to dig into yourself and learn, by questioning and being deeply honest with yourself. The honesty is sometimes the hardest part.

Since what I call my breakdown at a job I had last year, I have known I need to understand why and explore the triggers which cause my anxiety, especially to such levels as I have had.

The lay off shattered me in ways I didn’t fully understand. I allowed it to make me believe I was laid off because I wasn’t good enough or that I was no longer needed. I allowed it to make me feel worthless and ashamed or that maybe I had done something wrong which they refused to tell me.

These feelings carried on with each job I applied for and was not called or failed the interview process.

I’ve allowed this to effect my home environment. My home chores have been ignored at least until the point I have no choice but to do them. I delay other tasks risking the loss of things like financial reimbursement from medical treatments. I’m allowing myself to take medication which is effecting my ability to function.

These things are all connected with my feelings of worthlessness.

My art which I do every single day helps provide me with feelings of happiness, joy, accomplishment and close to being valued. Thank god my daughter values me which helps at least for me to feel loved.

I don’t say all of this to gain sympathy. I don’t need sympathy. I need to let go of all these negative feelings but when I hear this whether it is from myself or from others, I always wonder if we ever really let go of anything or is it just buried so deep we forget about it? I know there is a big difference between the two.

Some days are better than others. But since my doctor had me increase my medication I have also felt an increase in feeling the need to sleep which lasts almost all day. I tried switching to taking the medication at night instead of in the morning but it doesn’t seem to make any difference, so I think it is time to stop them. Allow myself to feel what I really feel and dig deep as to why. Consequently, I have made an appointment with my doctor.

I do have a natural alternative suggested by my Naturopath which should help reduce the anxiety and mental stress I’ve been experiencing. This is good as long as I can afford it.

What I know and how I feel contradict each other which is sometimes difficult to reconcile. I know for a fact that being laid off was not a result of anything I did or didn’t do. Lay offs have been happening in the area I worked in for a couple of decades or more, almost every year. This is the way of the corporate world. They lay off in time to show the board of directors and stockholders that action is being taken on the bottom line financially without acknowledging the negative impact this will have with their business and those left to handle the workload.

This has nothing to do with my self-worth. I performed a valuable job for the company and its customers and I did it well. So well in fact, I was the last one left doing that particular work. Now it is covered less efficiently and squeezed in as an after thought only when it is absolutely needed by people who are already overworked. This means there will be more and more things left undone and possibly misinformation given to customers and those making the major decisions. This is no longer for me to worry about.

In regards to applying for jobs. It is a difficult position to be in with so many people looking for work. There is no shortage of applicants. I have other alternatives which I allowed my present frame of mind to interfere with, all because I’m afraid to fail. The thing is because I’m not doing it, I’m already failing.

Self-sabotage is a dangerous loop to get into. Even though I realize I’m in this mode, it is difficult to remove myself from the loop. I could potentially create something that has the potential to be the best thing which ever happened to me. That is the kicker. Potential. If I don’t take action and seize the potential, then there really is no potential. Nothing is going to be dropped into my lap, except for the negative things I wish to avoid.

It is time to stop looking at the past, let it go. Stop looking at tomorrow, since tomorrow really doesn’t exist. My focus should be on today and what I can do TODAY to bring about the changes I want in my life.

I don’t think it is about letting go. I think it is about being present in the now and realize the present is all that exists, the only place we ever really ARE. What each moment becomes is only what we make it to be.

My art work is wonderfully fulfilling but maybe I can combine my technical knowledge with my art work to build something today.

Today is now. I am now. This is now.

I’m going NOW, so I can make something of this moment.

~Kate

 

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

In case you were wondering…

I’ve been spending my days arting. Usually that involves youtube videos, free classes I found, and some not so free classes I splurged on that were incredibly priced for the content they provide.

Arting is my way of coping with what is and is not happening in my life.

I still haven’t found a job. I have mixed emotions about this. Is this the way it is supposed to be and I need to stop fighting it? Or worrying so much about it? I love spending all day on my art. This includes crafting. I say crafting because I’m not sure if creating handmade journals/books is art or crafting, probably both. I just love having all this time to do what I love. The not so good emotions about this is the worry over money. Something catastrophic could happen and all my funds would be wiped out or I could lose my home and so many other bad things could happen. However, I realize, probably the majority of retired people are living like this, and maybe I can too.

Another thing which is happening is my daughter’s menstrual cycle issues have gotten worse. She has two weeks of bad days and two weeks of good days, which means she misses a lot of school. She is at risk of failing her current grade. We are looking at alternative education and trying to get her enrolled basically so she can learn from home. All of this combined is having a toll on her emotional well-being.

My emotional health isn’t too stable either. The tiniest bit of stress and I can feel like I’m going over the edge. The medication is helping, although I think it is making me feel numb in some ways, not caring in other ways, and I feel tired and sometimes sleep a lot. My doctor is having me adjust the dose to see if it helps.

Since I’m on that topic, here is a poem I wrote:

Closing Shutters
I stare, seeing nothing
Brain feels like thick sludge
Pushing behind eyes seeing nothing.

Heavy weighted lashes
Dragging down
Closing upon images
Making no sense.

A hole in my chest
Squeezing ache
Ready to shatter
Leaving shards piercing lungs.

Rising up
Through the fog
Sludge thick and viscous
Blending
Becoming one
With aching shards
And laborious legs.

A glob of gelatinous matter
Misfires, lost signals,
And scattered images.
Recordings fail,
Darkness prevails.
Floating
Waiting
Pull me from this nightmare.

4:16pm 29January2017

I always put date and time on my poems. It helps me to connect with where I was at the time of its writing.

I haven’t written much poetry lately, though I’m planning on changing that. I want to include it in my art.

I have been surprised at times when my art is bright and colorful, and I know I don’t feel that way inside. It’s obvious from my poetry I’m in rather a dark place and yet my art can be quite bright and colorful. I read where someone said the same thing and they thought it was because subconsciously she knew she needed to brighten her life and add more light and beauty into her life so it comes out in her artwork. I have to agree with what she said. I feel this is the same for me.

I am wondering what kind of reaction I would receive if I added one of my dark poems to a brightly colored piece of art I created. The contrast I think would be stunning and possibly shocking.

At this time I am not sure where this blog is going or if it will progress. It has changed dramatically from its inception in so many ways. I considered taking it down completely but I think that would defeat the purpose of the blog. This is about my journey, no matter where it goes. I’m realizing it is definitely reflecting a person in search of herself. Her authentic self. I can be a chameleon, which can be so confusing for me. The one thing I know for certain is I’m not a person who confines her beliefs, morals and lifestyle to a nicely confined box. I love that about myself. I love what that means about me. However, it means I can become rather confused when I measure that against what I was taught as a child. It isn’t easy and sometimes it can be rather lonely.

My daughter is discovering this too. Which means it can get rather…. well… let’s just say…interesting.

~Kate

Posted in Journal, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment